there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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