He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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