I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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