I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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