I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize