then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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