Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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