Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize