Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
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I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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