just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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