So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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