I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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