gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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