So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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