Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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