Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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