I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize