i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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