shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
They are going to name an STD after you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize