btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize