Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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