I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize