I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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