i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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