Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry about my life...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize