i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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