On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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