Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize