Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize