he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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