i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize