Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize