Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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