You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize