just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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