i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize