That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm really busy with my period
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