ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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