he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize