Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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