he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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