i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize