He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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