I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize