I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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