If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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