Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes

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(814): Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes http://tfl.nu/sox5

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(801): View more from Utah

She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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(801): She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid. http://tfl.nu/lqbk

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(337): View more from Louisiana

You going out tonight?

(318): View more from Louisiana

No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.

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(337): You going out tonight? (318): No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon. http://tfl.nu/ifio

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(214): View more from Texas

His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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(214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s

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(713): View more from Texas

After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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(713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.

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(781): My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays. http://tfl.nu/1wl2

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(919): View more from North Carolina

porn star boner night. come get it.

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(919): porn star boner night. come get it. http://tfl.nu/vz2z

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.

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(920): He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me. http://tfl.nu/y4m9

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(630): View more from Illinois

I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS

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(630): I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS http://tfl.nu/zymg

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(713): View more from Texas

On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.

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(713): On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day. http://tfl.nu/dyk5

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(507): View more from Minnesota

She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(

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(507): She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :( http://tfl.nu/2xc0

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(949): View more from California

Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.

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(949): Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night. http://tfl.nu/dgcc

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(303): View more from Colorado

Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.

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(303): Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/mbmy

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(804): View more from Virginia

Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

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(251): View more from Alabama

Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?

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(251): Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails? http://tfl.nu/r64b

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