He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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