Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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