Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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